Diary
by Narilka
Summary: Relena writes in her diary and madness ensues. Pretty sure this is crack. Some OoCness is bound to take place. I do not own Gundam Wing, though if I would really, really like too...


My dear Heero,

How you would scowl if you could see that. A rare smile flittered across Relena's face. I have decided to write to you since our dear friend Duo seems to think that I need to "let off some steam." Relena glanced over at her dutiful bodyguard to make sure he wasn't trying to sneak a peak. Since Duo is asleep I guess that I can safely tell you that today's meeting was a disaster. Relena snuck a glance at her sleeping bodyguard just to be sure he wasn't faking it. In all fairness, I have to point out that it is all Quatre Winner's fault. I told him well in advance that Dorothy Catalonia was representing the colonists of the L3 cluster. If only he had been more discreet. Relena sighed aloud remembering the day's events. It was only natural of Dorothy, being who she is, to tell the entire assembly that the good Mr. Winner was "sucking face with his personal clown" in the coatroom. Duo peeked one eye open cautiously. I don't mean to judge him harshly, but what was he thinking? Duo carefully shifted his feet off the desk. So naturally everyone over the age of thirty-everyone, but Quarte and myself-went into an uproar. Instead of discussing the new irrigation systems bill it turned into a debate about homosexuality and whether it was natural, moral, and ect. Duo eased out of the chair without making a sound. After six hours of debate the only thing decided was that our ancestors' decisions to make marriage available to same sex couples was a just and proper decision-though how we got on the subject is anyone's guess-and was concluded with a speech on how colonists and their earthbound brethren should be treated equally. Duo edged around the desk as the princess continued to scribble furiously. Honestly, it was nothing but an exercise in futility. Bringing up issues that haven't been issues in in so long that most people have forgotten that there was a time that gays could not marry or those horrible feelings of inadequate treatment that resulted in the Eve Wars. Duo leaned forward and started reading over Relena's shoulder. I can't believe Quatre got himself caught, no, I can't believe TROWA got himself caught! They were gundam pilots for Heaven's sake! The only thing that could have possibly been less productive to a meeting would have been having sex with Duo and WuFei on the conference table! At least then I would have been compensated for my trouble. Relena blushed a little then hastily explained that last entry. Not that I would have sex in public, it's just the principle of the matter. Actually, I suspect Dorothy might have let it slide if Quatre and Trowa were having sex in that room. I suspect she is something of a voyeur. Duo smirked evilly as he read on. Though I must admit, it was amusing to see Quatre wear so many shades of red. Relena smothered a giggle. I'm just glad that Duo was waiting outside. He'd likely tease Quatre until the poor boy fainted and I can't see Trowa reacting well to that.

"I can handle Trowa, no problem." Duo bragged.

"Duo!" Relena stopped writing, blushing furiously. "What are you doing!"

"What?" Duo asked feigning innocence.

"You were reading my diary!" Relena hissed equal parts angry and embarrassed.

"Aw, come on it's not like I'm gonna tell Heero you fantasize about me." Duo smirked.

"I do not fantasize about you!" Relena sputtered.

"What aren't you going to tell Heero?" Heero asked eyeing them suspiciously.

"Nothing!" Relena said hastily. "Duo was just saying that we don't have to clear tomorrow's event chart with you since you've already been over it."

"Yeah, and Relena was just telling me that she wants to have sex with me in the conference room." Duo added wickedly.

Heero's eyes widen and his mouth fell open before he turned on his heel and beat a hasty retreat. Duo started laughing as soon as Heero was out of sight. Relena groaned, sinking into her chair now thoroughly embarrassed. Relena hid her face in her hands as Duo continued to cackle.

"Must you say such things?" Relena murmured.

"You're the one that wrote it down." Duo smirked pulling out his phone.

Relena peeked at him through her fingers. "Now what are you doing?"

"Texting WuFei to meet us in the conference room." Duo said as he hit the send button.

"You what?" Relena squeaked. "You can't be serious!"

Duo hustled her out of the room. "Of course I am."

WuFei met them at the elevator and silenced the protesting female with his tongue. Duo almost had to pull them apart when the elevator pinged for there floor. They hustled Relena into the conference room and locked the door.

"This is insane." Relena gasped out before Duo silenced her.

"What kind of boyfriends would we be if we did not indulge our girlfriend's sexual fantasies?" WuFei asked as he kissed his way down her neck.

2 hours later

"You're both evil." Relena mumbled into WuFei's chest.

WuFei snorted derisively. "Maxwell is evil. I am Just."

"Hey!" Duo scowled at him over Relena's shoulder. "Just because I'm the god of death doesn't mean I'm evil."

"No, you are both evil." Relena huffed. "You used sex like Heero uses Wing Zero."

"You see Maxwell I am the perfect lover." WuFei smirked.

"She said "you" as in both of us!" Duo growled.

"No she said "you" as in me." WuFei corrected him. "I am a full course meal, you are merely dessert."

"So you think I'm sweet and filling." Duo grinned. "I can live with that."

Relena just thanked her lucky stars that they remembered to lock the door.

"Sweet and filling, huh?" Trowa regarded them from the doorway.

"Trowa, Heero's coming this way." Quatre hurried up to him.

The Heavyarms and Sandrock pilots quickly stepped into the room and relocked the door.

"Hiding?" WuFei asked with a smirk.

"Dorothy probably told Heero about the meeting." Relena gave a Quatre a look.

The blonde coughed nervously. "Yes, well…"

"Duo get." Trowa smacked him on the butt so he'd move off Relena.

"T-Trowa what are you doing?" Quatre squeaked out as his slid into the Vice Foreign Minister.

"Trowa." Relena breathed.

WuFei anchored her hips with his hands.

"You wanted see me with Relena." Trowa said easing himself in and then out of her in a slow but steady rhythm.

"Damn, Trowa do have to tease her like that?" Duo asked rubbing himself appreciatively.

"Dou, stop wasting it." WuFei said sternly.

Duo groaned in protest, but obeyed.

"Quatre, let Duo inside you." Relena said in a breathless whisper.

"Do it." Trowa hissed as he slide home once again.

Duo shoved Quatre's pants down to his knees and fisted him.

Several hours later

Heero buckled his pants as he prepared to leave the security room. His partner chuckled.

"Leaving already." Zechs said eyeing the four half naked recruits they'd just finished playing with.

"They've all passes out." Heero answered, casting about for his shirt.

Zechs unbuckled him and jerked his pants down roughly. "I'm not hrough with you yet."

"Hn." Heero slid to his knees and positioned himself to receive. "Give me your best shot."

Zechs positioned himself over his rival. "Don't I always?"

The next day

Dorothy Catalonia sat in the conference room struggling to stay awake. She mentally bemoaned the fact that nothing interesting was happening. Relena concluded her speech, thankful that no one noticed her little stumble when Quatre slid his hand into her skit and started fondling her. Quatre was thankful that Dorothy was paying them no mind or she might have noticed the catch in Relena's voice when his fingers slid into her. Quatre reluctantly pulled his hand out of her panties when the lead speaker dismissed the assembly.

"Are you insane?" Relena hissed at Quatre once everyone else had cleared out.

Quatre didn't even blush when he admitted. "I wanted to climb under the table and eat you out."

Relena flushed scarlet. "You're as bad as the rest of them."

Quatre didn't bother to dispute that claim and instead asked. "Could we come over tonight?"

Then he leaned in close and said. "Trowa said he's never had better with a woman. I'm the only one that hasn't been inside you."

Relena flushed but knowing that Duo and WuFei would insist on it. Especially since WuFei had seen Quatre's hand disappearing between her legs. "Okay."

Quatre beamed. "Let's find the others."

Relena groaned inwardly, mentally cursing Duo and his stupid journal idea that was going to end up keeping her too soar to function properly at work.


End file.
